THE MOMENT

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The first school

Well I still remember the time when I entered my first school. Being a rebel at home with no rules,I was actually entering a world of one. More than anything else, I knew there were going to be strangers and I was going to be alone. No one to hide behind when someone bends to look at me. Noone to open up my arms to when a person comes close. I would be there alone. I was thinking that time. What is mommy thinking? Why is she doing so? She cried too.i remember. If she was unhappy, why did she do it, because i was not happy either. I enter the school and after the first 5 steps I realised I was dead alone. I turned back. I didn’t turn back to look, I turned back to run. I wanted to do so. But maa wasn’t there.i could see other moms.i couldn’t see mine. I felt lost. Lost in heart. Will I never see her again. What if I wouldn’t be able to come back. Maybe I can run back home alone. But I wasn’t sure about the way.i turned towards the school andnd continued walking.

15 years later now, it’s normal to wake up alone in bed. Not turning back to find anyone. Crying alone. Laughing alone. Normal to hear the ringtone in place of mom’s shout. But I regret today. I regret of not trying to run back that day to home. I know my mom was near somewhere. Looking at me. If I would have ran back she would have held me. Because I know she’ll be there for me even when j can’t see her

Parallel universe

Hi. I am sorry if the title seem technological.i assure the content wouldn’t. It will be relatable if you try to focus on yourself.

Sometimes when I am sitting with a group of people with whom I should be happy with,a little me inside me pokes me in my head and asks….seriously? Why don’t we run from here and go to”your”world. I shut her down. Nope. That’s not a right place. I’ll deal with you later… And she just goes back in my head.

I have realised with time. She’s honest. She’s realistic. I honestly find no happiness of my own in which people of my age do. Is it my fault? Or is it hers? I like to blame on her. It’s sad. But as she says. You can’t do any thing else.

She asks evrytime I check out a guy. Oh really? I reply no (chuckle). You know I am not a stable kind of person. I say to her. Oh no. That’s what she says. You don’t like anyone except you. You are critical and like to focus only on yourself. You are too self centered to pay attention to others. But you try to be social. But trust me you can’t.

Yeah. I agree to her. But fighting with everyone for telling them how I am is so ridiculous. I don’t want to something and people should get it. But yeah she says do you like around people. I answer no.

She is a darling. She keeps on reminding who I am. But I am too lazy to understand. I hope I listen to her someday. I’ll be happy that day I know.😊😊
P.s.i am highly irregular in writing. If you made till so far thank-you so much. And I’ll try to be regular. Thanks

forever

 

I often ask myself,

Where are the dusts of forever in my shelf?

What defines the end and the beginning?

In which is confined its meaning?

 

Is forever the life of the fly for it?

A minute for which it is lived?

Or does it lie in the spread of this sky?

Has it always been this blue and white?

 

If it started from the eves apple,

And ends in the doomsday maple,

Where in it do i lie?

Where in it do you lie?

 

Sometimes i think it lies in your smile,

Sometimes in that extra mile,

Through which i walked alone,

In search of happiness which you home.

 

Whenever comes the boundary of always,

Wherever the desert meets the ocean waves,

If you stop and look back ever,

I will be there,waiting,forever.

the girl

In deep scars of memories,

still flashed some sparkles of life.

For he always wondered how

living without her will be like.

Now when the hearts had miles between,

and the soul had none,

he often wandered in the past unseen,

 where they stood together on the sun.

He remembered the eyes unwept,

ans the never said promises done,

He remembered the hands held,

and now existing none.

Again at the beginning line, 

wondered if he will ever be the same.

cause there always was that blank rhyme

that held him back again.

He made his joy to sound aloud,

He poured the smile around so fake,

but amidst all the noises around,

He could still hear to his heartbreak.

two worlds

As I walk in the woods

away from the moonlight so bright

away from the laughter

towards my fright

As I get distanced

from the crowd so unknown

I  listen the laughs faint

and I hear the sad moan.

in the blue paint all around

that colours the trees black.

I felt an urge of something behind,

I wanted somehow to go back.

 on the line that separated two worlds,
that sparkled beneath my feet,

one that contained fireworks,

 the other that had defeat.

where the defeat had my memories,

the fireworks lightened my eyes.

my world had some unfinished stories,

that world had some news smiles.

it’s difficult to choose whether

to go back our with them.

even if they have thorn or feather,

I am in love with them.